I just had to express how wonderful everyone is that I've met here so far. I found this site and thought "this is a good place to be anonymous and express my thoughts". Well I really didn't expect to have people respond to my thoughts but they have and I'm so glad they did. It's like therapy, when life gets overwhelming, sometimes I vent here and see that I'm not alone in feeling overwhelmed and there seems to be a wealth of people here that offer support and I sure hope I can do that for you too!

Had a job interview yesterday, thought Oh boy my chance to lift myself out of endless box packing when I'm not even hired in by the company yet. The job was for a Management trainee position that pays only slightly more than what I'm making now but the ad indicated raises were quick and growth opportunities were great. Plus, it was in the same town I live in. Well, when something seems to good to be true, it is. The guy interviewing me called, asking me if he could bump up the interview from 9 to 10:30 cause something came up and he was at least an hours drive away, asked me if that was a problem and I said yes because I called my work and said I would be late and he asked how late I worked and told him 5.
He then said the only other time was Monday, so I figured I already called in late I might as well do the interview at 10:30. The interview went like this: You wouldn't be working at this facility because we already have a manager for this place. What I would be doing is training for six weeks until they have another facility built or ready for their service which he wasn't even sure where that new facility would be, he then asked if I was willing to relocate? Not for the amount of money they were offering to start, mid $20's Maybe double that, I would consider relocating. So now, I'm depressed because yesterday was also my eighth month of working at this company and I am still working for the temp agency. With no insurance or any indication of being hired in. I dropped my Algebra course right now I can take it later. It started sooner than I thought, my life is weighing heavy on my mind and Algebra is definitely not in my head at all. I feel like I stuck in box packing hell with no way out and no opportunity to improve my life.

In my errands today, I decided to bring my camera because the weather where I am is unseasonably warm. Well it was when I was working all week. Now that I have the weekend off, it's very cold with drizzling, bone chilling rain. That snatched the motivation of taking any landscape pictures right out of my mind. So after doing a little grocery shopping, I went home and then realized there was a pound of hamburg in the fridge that needed to be cooked. I decided to whip up a pot of chili, have'nt had that or made it in a long time. So I'll do laundry while that's cooking and then I'll go to the gym to get out of dreariness for a while, then I'll come home and do school work.

I was reviewing my Environmental Science chapters, we are talking about landfills and came across this article that I found to be very interesting and true and thought I would share it with my fellow bloggers.

“Affluenza, ‘do you have it’”?

(a) I’m willing to pay more for a T-shirt if it has a cool corporate logo on it.
(b) I’m willing to work at a job I hate so I can buy lots of stuff.
(c) I usually make just the minimum payment on my credit cards.
(d) When I’m feeling blue, I like to go shopping and treat myself.
(e) I spend much more time shopping each month than I do being involved in my community.
(f) I’d rather be shopping right now.
(g) I’m running out of room to store my stuff.

Give yourself two points for true and one point for false. If you scored 10 or above, you may have a full-blown case of “affluenza”.

“Just what is affluenza? Jessie H. O’Neill, who coined the term, defines it as a ‘dysfunctional relationship with wealth or money’. Symptoms of affluenza include a love of shopping, a glut of stuff in your home or dorm that you don’t need or use, and a dissatisfaction with you have. It can strike anyone, regardless of their economic status. According to two PBS programs produced about it, ‘Affluenza’ and ‘Escape from Affluenza’, ‘affluenza’ is a plague of materialism and overconsumption that is so pervasive that it actually characterizes our modern society”.
“The United States leads the world in per capita waste generation, a symptom of societywide problem, according to O’Neill. It begins at an early age, as children are bombarded by TV commercials urging them to get the latest toys. Peer pressure makes it worse, with children sometimes ‘forced’ to wear only the approved apparel. Every fad that comes along must be accommodated. Eventually, the conditioned children grow up, carry credit cards, and drive—and then ‘affluenza’ takes on more serious consequences. The toys get more expensive. Adults caught by the disease acquire so much that they have to rent a self-storage bin to hold things they can’t part with. Bankruptcy and credit card overloads are commonplace, a consequence of people’s inability to control their spending”.
How do you get over “affluenza”?
“There are several steps you can take. First, admit that you have a problem. Then, begin to take small withdrawal steps. Before you buy something, ask yourself, do I need it? Could I borrow it from a friend or relative? How many hours do I have to work to pay for it? Another suggested step is to avoid those recreational shopping trips to the mall. Take a walk or play ball with some kids instead. Become an advertising critic. Made a budget. These are a few of the many possible pathways for escape from ‘affluenza’. As you do these things, you may be amazed at how challenging and rewarding it can be to live more simply—and, certainly, more sustainably”.

I went to the hospital on December 2nd with severe pains in my lower abdomen. The doctor insisted I was admitted. I was in there for four days. I have no health insurance, I also missed three days of work. I know this is a bad thing to say but I was just hoping they would give me a lethal injection of pain killer because right now, I'm still in pain and can't afford to go to the doctor. People at work ask me if I got my Christmas shopping done. I just say no but deep inside want to cry. My idea of a good Christmas is having a nice meal with my children. My kids understand about getting no gifts but I can't even afford a nice meal, not enough money to shop for much food. Although I've been taking classes online to further my education and improve my life, right now I feel like giving up. I feel like I'm just sinking deeper and deeper into nowhere.